Ash Wednesday

Readings: Joel 2:1-2, 12-17, Psalm 51:1-17, 2 Corinthians 5:20b-6:10, Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21

Author’s note: We have missed a couple weeks in the lectionary, partly due to my winter break and finals. I have decided to resume with the beginning of the next liturgical season, Lent (my apologies to Epiphany) with the Ash Wednesday lectionary. This entry takes a more personal, autobiographical approach. The subsequent entries will resume a more informative, thorough tone.

Psalm 57:10 – “Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

My first semester at Harvard Divinity School was full of excitement and challenge. I was taking the maximum load of courses, learning a new job in the library and making new friends in a foreign land (as Southern California native there was a bit of culture shock when I got here). But these challenges were met with the optimism and strength of an invigorated spirit: I was pursing my call to ministry. I was doing God’s work, and long days on campus and even long walks through the snow didn’t bother me.

Second semester I took a full load of courses (one less than the previous semester), was at a familiar job and had a wider circle of friends. It should have been easier, but it wasn’t. Third semester I had an even lighter workload. I did have two new jobs beginning my second year, one here at MBS and another at a homeless shelter, but I didn’t expect to struggle the way I did. Halfway through my tenure the honeymoon with Harvard was over. I was tired, cold and wanted to go home. The zeal of my first year had officially faded.

Then I had a conversation with my father that reminded me of the special opportunity I had to be studying at Harvard and pursuing my call to ministry. These few weeks leading into Lent I’ve been thinking a lot about that conversation, and find myself excited for classes to start this semester. Lifting your spirits and facing the challenges before you isn’t as simple as flipping a switch in your brain. And I know that the enthusiasm of a new semester will be fleeting unless I find a way to reconnect with God’s mission and purpose for my life.

When I read Psalm 51, the first nine lines described the despair of being alienated from God and its longing to be united with the divine. But it’s 51:10 that resonated with me most: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me.” It expresses what I have been longing for a while now: A renewal of spirit. And there is no better time of year for renewing your spirit and relationship with God than Lent and Easter.

The ashes imposed on believers on Ash Wednesday are often made from the previous Palm Sunday’s branches. The beginning of the holiest liturgical season is ushered in with the decay of the previous year’s climax. It is a powerful symbol of the cycle of life and rebirth – every spring, every Lent, new life blossoms from yesterday’s ashes.

It is my humble Lenten prayer to be reunited with the passion and enthusiasm that moved me across the country a year and a half ago. To be ever-conscious of the service I am preparing for, and the service I am providing to others as I learn. And to most of all, through His will and strength, heed God’s call in my life with a pure heart and steadfast spirit.